No Permission Needed: Advice to My Younger Self

When I moved to New York at twenty-one, I was fresh from a small town, wide-eyed, and completely out of my depth. Arriving in Manhattan felt like stepping onto another planet. I had no idea how much I didn’t know, and that ignorance led to more than a few moments of mortification.

One moment of mortification that still makes me cringe happened a year into my job as an editorial assistant. I invited the publisher to lunch to ask his advice on how to get ahead in my career. He chose the restaurant—The Pen and Pencil, an old publishing hangout. I was so green I had never even been to a restaurant with a maître d’ before.

When we arrived, the maître d’ pulled out the chair at the table for me. I assumed that he would do the same for my boss. So, I stood there. Waiting. The maître d’ waited. My boss waited. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I pulled out the other chair and plopped down, utterly mortified. If that wasn’t bad enough, I then spent the entire meal panicking about whether I was expected to pick up the check. On a $10,000-a-year salary, that wasn’t going to happen—not successfully, anyway.

Like many women of my generation, I had been taught to play it safe—to raise my hand only when I was certain I had the right answer, to second-guess myself, to shrink when I felt unsure, and to wait for someone else to invite me in. I was raised in a culture that told me I had to be perfect, modest, and constantly aware of what others thought of me.

But here is what I know now: Power is not something you wait for someone else to give you. Power is something you claim for yourself.

If I could talk to young Emily, I’d say this: You don’t need anyone’s permission to own your power, share your story, or speak your truth. Give yourself the grace to make mistakes—learning from those mistakes is how you will grow. And remember, confidence isn’t something you wait for; it’s something you choose, even when you feel uncertain.

If you’re thinking about writing a book but that whisper of doubt is creeping in—Who am I to do this?—let me remind you what I wish I had known in my twenties: Your experiences matter. Your story matters. Isn’t it time to let your voice be heard?

 At Bold Story Press, we help women bring their stories into the world with support, transparency, and the belief that we need stories about imperfection. We need more women to share what it looks like to be afraid, but to act anyway. We need to know that we are not alone in questioning our own power—and that owning it is a choice we can make at any time.

If you are ready to share your story with the world, I invite you to join one of our free publishing webinars, and/or contact me at Emily@Boldstorypress.com